TE:<P>I'm sure you are aware that nothing messes with the mind of a team member and destroys his focus more than a rocky romantic relationship with "the girl back home." You have NO IDEA what you are encouraging here! Beware!

My "right" referred to "never quit"...<P>I'm not encouraging anything.

Good. Just remember to take everything with a grain of salt. Dont let people fill you with bs, much like he shouldnt listen to all the other stupid cones running around there that are bound to one day turn a wrench and continue their "optimistic" views on ones "chances" at becoming a Pararescueman. Tell him to keep his head up and get back in there and do it right the first (next) time.

Cori-<BR>It's a small town and the night has a thousand eyes. There are alot of people pulling for your boyfriend in his quest to become a PJ. If you continue to mess with his mind and he loses his focus, there won't be a rock large enough for you to hide under.

I don't understand where the idea came from that Cori is messing with her boyfriend's mind or motivation or whatever....<BR>She supports him all the way.<BR>Keep it up.

Cori... advice from one who has been in your boyfriends shoes: Don't do anything to distract him from what he needs to focus on, it will pass soon enough. Make damn sure he knows you will be waiting when he finishes and that you are willing to wait for him no matter what.
I got a Dear John letter from my girlfriend at a critical time in my shortlived PJ career and have paid for it since. I'm not excusing my giving up, just stuff like that makes it real easy to do.
He is going through hell not just for himself but so you and he can have a future together that you will both be proud of.

Cory,
I was sorry some of your responses were so harsh. I think it's perfectly normal to want to know when you'll see your boyfriend again. My husband was a TACP in the Air Force for four years. He chose this instead of pararescue because he didn't want to be away so long when we were only engaged. That was a real mistake becuase five years later he still wants to be a PJ. We are hoping he will crosstrain this summer, but I am nervous about so many aspects of this. I would love to talk more with you about what you've found out.

: []ReasterT@aol.com[/] <p>Cori- I just want to say what a codependent person you seem to be.Your man is in training to be a pj this is gonna take a long time. You need to either suck it up or let the poor guy find a girl that can take his comings and goings. dating a pj isnt easy, but nothing worth while was ever easy.I dated a pj for a few months he called me daily and we evenn saw each other. I served in the navy and was gone many times relationships in the millitary arent easy, but essentually it comes to trust. Many sailors, Airmen , Army , and Marines when they are deployed have many temptations when they are away from there ladies. Are you in the millitary or a civilian?? Anyway if you are in the millitary you will learn that the guys cant keep it in there pants, so if you think that your behavior is helping your man out hell dump you like a bad habit , and I would hope he sure as heck would do that.

Ack, bitter seawoman. Head for cover.

Cori:<p>Please pay no attention to the negative comments made by others. Continue to support your boyfriend, and respect his goals and desires. It will most definitely pay off for you in the long run. Speaking from experience, I was away from my wife due to military training; as a matter of fact, I missed the birth of my son. I'll be gone again beginning in Mar 02 for six months. But, my wife is supportive, and that makes all the difference in the world. Some of what others are saying is true - don't nag him, learn to be self-sufficient, and make the most of the time you do have together []images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/] . You sound as though you're doing just that. Come see him when you can, but have your own life, too. I wish both you and your boyfriend the best of luck!<p>As for those of you who are trying to stir up a hornet's nest (you know who you are):<p>You should be damned ashamed of yourselves! She came on here and asked a simple question. The advice she initially received was good advice (along with the inevitable ribbing), and that was good; it gave her a realistic idea of what to expect. However, just because she's driven to Lackland to visit, that makes her a "distraction"? Get real! I think it shows her dedication to her boyfriend, and it shows him that she's willing to be there and be supportive of him, so long as he's happy in his pursuits. Did she ever say that she tries to call him every day? No! Did she say that she does nothing but sit around and mope while she's alone? No! Joking around with Cori is one thing, and I'm sure she can deal with it. But being downright disrespectful and spiteful is totally unacceptable. Grow up!<p> []images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/] And you, ReasterT (yes, I am singling you out), you're a friggin' idiot. Your post served absolutely no purpose whatsoever, other than to try to start something. You'd be well-advised to take your BS somewhere else. You accuse Cori of being "codependent", yet you have absolutely no idea what it even means. Do yourself a favor, the next time you try to use a ten-dollar word, at least look it up in the dictionary first. That way, you'll be able to use it in its proper context. If you want to post and contribute constructive ideas, knock yourself out. If you simply want to stir up trouble, go the hell away.<p>SPC Travis Urbanek
Officer Candidate
B Co 4/112th Armor

cori:<p>I'm stationed in New Mexico and I'm putting in my package to cross-train in april. I'm married and you can bet your last dollar that my wife will drive the 16 hours to see me when she can. People going into that careefield need that kind of support. If I didn't have the full support of my wife the chances of me making it would probable be cut in half. Just be supportive and everything will be fine.

Dear Concerned Girlfriend,
As far as talking with your man, the one piece of advice I could give you is let him call you, that is if you truly want to stay his girlfriend, future wife, or whatever. Cause your calls are only going to make his life more miserable than it already is. And think of this as a test.............If you can not deal with him being gone now you will not be able to deal with him being deployed and you have no idea what he is up to or where he is.
M.E.

[]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/] []ReasterT@aol.com[/]
HI Boys and Girls,
I just wanted to tell you all that my posting to Cori was just meant to hopefully put a lil bit of reality into her situation.Since I served on a Navy Ship with 500 men, during cruises 1000 men, and about 40 women.I was privey to a lot of info on the guys personel lives. Since I was there friend they told me who they scored with the night before, or paid for is a better word for it.The women on board also did alot of screwing around, but mostly with the guys from the ship.I found out this getting laid phenomenan is in all branches of the armed forces. I just dont like it much when the
guys or gals getting some have a significant other at home. On my ship I dated single guys and didnt want those already taken. Again this is only advice from a women who knows what goes on in the millitary and how easily swayed some people are in certain situations, when their loved one is back at home. Cori I wish you all the luck in your relationship, just dont drive him away by mentioning to him that you miss him soo terribly and things along that line. If he makes it thru indoc and the pipeline he will go to his duty station, then he will begin going all over to train and he will of course be using his skills as a PJ when needed.These heroic PJs are hardly ever home, so when they are one must make it count and live for the moment when you are in each others arms again. To all you Pjs out there keep kickin butt , and thanks for all you , and the SEALS, GREEN BERATS, RANGERS,and DELTA FORCE are doing for the country and have been doing before 9-11-01. In my prayers nightly

"Concerned Girlfriend" was seeing someone else two weeks after the boyfriend she was "so devoted to" left for Basic Training. She later packed up and left town to "get on with her life and career." The boyfriend is still in the PJ program. He survived the emotional blow and is more motivated and focused than ever. He has wanted to be a PJ since he was 15-years-old and the obstacles he has had to overcome in both his personal life and at Indoc have made him stronger, more mature, and more determined than ever to serve his country as a Pararescueman.<p>All of your support and encouragement for the "Concerned Girlfriend" was great, but there are usually two sides to a story and you were just getting one. <p>We tend to concentrate on the tremendous physical challenge involved in Indoc, but the added mental and emotional strain involved often tends to be a test of the trainees true character. Some will push through, some will quit, and some will be eliminated. Some will stumble and fall, but pick themselves up and perservere to the end.<p>Hopefully the "fire" of Indoc will produce graduates with not only exceptional physical prowess, but men of integrity, honor, character, intelligence and compassion. The lives of the men they serve with, as well as the victims they seek to save, depend upon more than just physical strength and the ability to run and swim.<p>Congratulations to all the recent graduates (Teams 007, 008, and 02-001) and "Good Luck" as you continue through the Pipeline. It is not so much what you accomplish that is important - it is what you become, that counts.<p>...That Others May Live!

If you are going to go into any career field Spec Ops oriented, it would be a good idea to free yourself from this type of scenario. Most relationships, especially when you are young, simply cannot handle the demands placed on them by training requirements and pipeline schedules. For PJ's you are talking a significant amount of time before you will be assigned to a permanent duty station. You should also consider the fact that you want to minimize distraction. A long distance relationship is a major distraction. The statistics are proof enough. I would strongly advise against trying to maintain a relationship through your OL-H and pipeline training.

Integrity first
I just wanted to say that it is a shame that it didnt work out with the " concerned girlfriend" I hope your PJ career is going to be rewarding to you, and that someday you may meet a wonderful girl who can deal with your job and all that it includes. I hope she can love you enough to stick with you when you wont be able to be there. Remember your job should be numero uno , I feel that the women that one in your profession meet should hopefully try to understand what it is they are in for. For a lady to date a PJ she should be strong, patient, realistic , and understanding.Well, Integrity First good luck and thank you for your service. Remeber saving lives is # 1 and will be your main priority. You are living unselfishly for others and putting your personel life on hold. Keep your head up, all will fall into place.
ReasterT aka Sn Tillery []ReasterT@aol.com[/] []images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/]

REASTERT
This is my first time on this site and I have to say , you ruined it for me...
I don't mean to sound rude but you seem to be what I would call a PJ Ho. How dare you come this site and take someones feelings and step all over them.And after finding out that she has moved out of the way.You take your chance to step in !!! You seem to be all wise on what these men want. But you said it yourself you only dated one for a few months.What's up with that,if you know how the women should be then step to the plate. I will say this, being a PJs wife is one of the most difficult jobs in the AF ,Not eveyone is cut out for it but you have no right to be that judge.
As for your remark on the whole "can't keep it in there pants " I believe that is how you put it.. Don't you know the saying "What goes on during a deployment ,Stays on a deployment."
And it is women like you who are the ones trying so hard to get in those pants..
I have the up most respect for ever single man in this field . I have seen it up close the effects that this job has on the man and the family.
I do have one more thing to say, I am NOT #2 in my husbands life. I know he may be called at anytime and be away for days ,weeks or months , and I hate it! But I also know he loves what he does and I will stand by him no matter what,and he does the same for me.

Sorry to bore everyone with my frustration...
Thanks for letting me vent.
To all you Guys THANK YOU!!!
Stay safe,
"THAT OTHERS MAY LIVE"

Integrity First....I am truely impressed with your coping skills. Several of us tried to give her the advice she needed to hang in there with you until you could be together again but apparently it was not meant to be.
I faced a similar obstacle at Lackland 30 years ago. I got a dear john letter and came down with some kind of respiratory crap one of my classmates gave me all in the same week. When I woke up in the base hospital and was asked if I wanted to rejoin another class I just said f**k it, I've had enough.
I have regretted it to this day. You on the other hand rose above the petty emotional responce and kept on doing your job. That attitude is the mark of the brotherhood of warrior/scholars. The Chinese used to call them samuri, now we call them PJs. Just remember, most people never get to do what they want in life and when they do they feel themselves fortunate. The true fortunate ones are the ones who get to do what they were meant to do.

BTW.....If that wasn't you, you seem to have alot of first hand knowledge about what transpired.Please pass on my congrats to the troop it did involve for hanging in and finishing Indoc.

hey cori, you got any pics?