Hello. My name is Akadea. I am Spanish, so i hope you’ll forgive my probably bad English.
I have a story to share and I need someone able to answer my questions. I have already read carefully all the “family and friends” posts. I have found many answers there… but still need some more.
I work as a Holistic Therapist and counselor. I never was interested in military issues. To be honest, not just not interested, but rejecting that entire world. Since 3 months ago.
I met a man, 35 years old (I’m 34). We felt that strong connection I haden’t felt in more than 8 years. But when soon I knew that he was an American soldier, I was deeply shocked. It was like a bad joke of the destiny in my eyes. But still, there was something I knew for sure since that moment; If a person like him had chosen that path, it meant for sure that it was because military path had something very good that I hadn’t find out yet in my life. So I decided to let our relation go on while discovering this whole new world for me.
He slowly tried to explain me about his job as a PJ. He was in Souda Bay’s American base, in Crete and has worked as a PJ already for 14 years as far as I know. His rank is Major.
We lived the most beautiful days together, growing up slowly our self world, day by day. We finally spoke about marriage, since it was the only possible way for me to join him into the base. (he couldn’t move more than one hour from there). And, when everything was so perfect, he suddenly disappeared.
He left me a message saying that he was going through some things that didn’t make him the best of company, and that didn’t want to harm me by any mean. So he asked me for some time. I gave him that time without questions.
He showed up 3 more times in four weeks. Just a quick talks to asked me if I was well. As soon as he found out that I was fine he faster disappeared again.
After those 4 weeks waiting without having ANY idea about what was happening, finally I asked him for help. I Needed answers. And he showed up.
He told me that he was going back to Afghanistan, and that it was what he had been trying to find out the last weeks. He also asked me for not waiting for him. He was repeating all the time “Please, make sure you’ll be happy and you’ll move on. You are one of a kind”
I couldn’t understand anything. But I could felt how anguish he was about the subject, and didn’t want to make his life harder. So I accepted without questions. And he left. His last words were “I have to go now. You have my email and I will say a hello whenever I’ll can. But you need to move on”.
Since then, it has passed already one month and a half. I have written him two emails, without any answer.
And I can’t move on. I can’t. He never broke up with me. I asked him clearly 3 times. He never answered to that question. He also never said that he didn’t love me anymore. All that he said is that he was going to Afghanistan, and that he wishes he was a teacher or something so things would be easier, but he was not. He also said that when the time would be right we would may meet again, but it was not happening now.

Now, I’ve been for six weeks already trying to understand. I’ve been searching for information about PJ’s world everywhere. I cannot move on because I cannot believe that he doesn’t love me anymore. I understand now that he is a PJ, and PJ’s are a kind of special species. You are trained for hiding up your emotional side when work is happening. You are trained for seeing family or personal troubles as a kind of distraction when work is happening. And I understand it pretty well. It is the Warrior path. I know it pretty well.
So, my questions are not so much about his reasons. My questions are more about how things work where he is, and what is the best way I can support him now.
He said I was in his Page 2 (notifying list) But someone told me that it was not possible since I am not his wife. Is it true..?
I would like to send him some paper letters. I have his post address in Souda Bay. If I send him letters to that address, will the letter find its way to where he is now?
Can they bring their cellphone’s with them..? I have left him a couple of voice messages… also without answer.
Anything, any advise, any idea, about the best I can do for the better of we both will be truly appreciate. I don’t want to make his life harder by any means, but at the same time I don’t believe that he is happy thinking that I have move on and forgetting him. Speacially when it is not true at all.

Please, help.
Thank you very much for your time.

Akadea