I am currently engaged and expecting a child. Can someone give some pointers on how to handle starting a new family and starting a career as a Combat Controller at the same time. I'm trying to prepare myself physically and mentally. I don't necessarily need the added worry of whether my wife-to-be can handle it or not. They say Combat controller is one of the hardest jobs in the military...but wife of a Combat controller is even harder. How can I be sure she's up to it? I've asked but she doesn't give a straight answer. She tells me that if I want to do this then I should. I take that as female talk for "I should know what she wants and how she feels about it".

I'm gearing up to head into the pipeline in the next couple of months. I am married and have a 16-month old daughter. Is it going to be tough? Yes. Impossible? Not at all. You just need to make up YOUR mind right now where your bottom line is. Meaning, if your soon-to-be-wife gives you the ultimatum ("Combat Control or Me") you need to know right now, before you leave what that answer is. My wife knows exactly where my priorities are because I've taken the time to be open and honest with her. They are simple. Number 1) Combat Control. Number 2) Our daughter/future children. Number 3) The success of our marriage and relationship.

Don't get me wrong, those three are all very close and they are all my top priorities in life. But again, if the world came crashing down and the wife started trying to make me choose, she knows the order my priorities are in. Another reason you need to step back, evaluate priorities NOW instead of later, is once you do get into the Pipeline and life gets tough for you AND your family, you can bet that that little voice in your head is going to start shouting for you to just pack it in, quit and get an easy job and live life in the Air Force with your family. You will basically use your family as an excuse to quit. It does happen. An easy way of preventing that is to figure out right now how you AND your family are going to handle that little voice when life gets hard; and one way is by setting your priorities now. There's really no way of knowing for sure "if she's up to it" until you're right in the middle of it. All you can do is be open and honest with your priorities, listen to her and what she has to say about it and then make your decision.

Combat Control is one of the hardest jobs in the military, along with being the wife of one; that is true. But they are also two of the most rewarding as well. You will just need to decide, if your wife tries to make you choose between Combat Control and her, which one will be more rewarding for YOU in YOUR life.

That is a very well put answer. Thank you. My decision has been made already. I do plan on going once I feel physically ready. (I believe I have to have had the mental mindset since birth to make it). While I am young and still maturing, my fiance has that much more maturing to do. But, women have an uncanny way of working with what life gives them.
I feel that if I took the time to try, I might as well take the time to finish. I don't like wasting time...and tax payers money. I'm an all or nothing type of guy. (within reason) I think her biggest concern ofcourse is the danger. It isn't exactly like working at LAX or JFK. Her exact words are "Tell me how you're doing, not what you're doing" As long as she's not ***** me I think we'll be ok. There will probly be many discussions between her and I before I go. Just to make sure she understands before hand what my life is to become.

Thank you for the input.

couldnt have said that any better my friend